The Perks Of Misery

Last March 2017, I have written a very upsetting post that I might say it was the worst experience so far. If you have remembered I wasn't able to walk down the isle on time to receive my 'fake' diploma because of an incomplete thesis. 

I had to continue working on the requirement with my groupmates during summer and finally we finished it. I have considered myself a college graduate that time regardless of missed graduation ceremony since I needed to move forward for my plan on going to medical school.

That misery got me hitting rock bottom. It was hard to conceal and hush myself from feeling hurt whenever I see my batchmates post graduation pictures on social media. Even now that time has buried the past, I cannot forget the feeling of wanting to detach myself away from my friends in despair. It was a cry of self pity and confusion. 

On July 2017, I got accepted in medical school and it was in my second choice of school. I didn't dealt my emotions with this fact anymore in mind that after months of misery I became very determined to face the challenges ahead of me.

I have never had this kind of feeling before, but after what just happened my perseverance was beyond my imagination! It was as if I was cloaked with love and grace from God. 

With every fail marks I got during my first year in medical school finding solutions were always at the back of my mind. I kept on believing that I can do it better next time and I did! With the constant reminder of my teachers and my optimistic and persistent mind set, I had experience consecutive good marks on exams (not to brag it), but, I was proud of my self. 

The perks of misery is sometimes realizations of one's worth. Failures don't define one's self and his future. It is in these hard times that one is able to redefine himself, his life, and his purpose. Misery is an opportunity to become better and one should be aware of this.

Never think that you are lacking because you're not! You are already enough for your own, unique journey and what you just need is a change of mind set. 

Never give up on moving forward even if circumstances are pulling you back. Life must go on. As long as you're alive, as long as the sun and the moon still shines. . .there is hope.

Allow me to share this all-time favorite quote of mine

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 

- Marianne Williamson

Trying to pose victoriously before the hooding starts

Right: me and my grandmother; Left: my classmates in college

Me and my thesis groupmate and lover😉

Our class photo as first year medical students

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