On what I felt

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I would really like to graduate on time. But I can’t. I would really like to prove my worth to myself and others. But I can’t. In failing to get my goal is a proof. A proof that I can’t be what I wanted to be.This is the second time around that I have cried billions of tears. No. The third time. From the day I failed and retook my math course, to now that I have failed to accomplish our thesis on time. Is there a way that can make me understand what’s going on in my life?

Life?
It’s not something that you see on the movies with well-polished story scheme.
Life is too abstract. You cannot really see the end of the road. Everything is a game of possibilities. One may experience a turn of events. One may be favored by the odds. 

How do I even fix myself now?
Honestly, I truly feel like a failure. Why I am even born in this world? I can’t even shine for other people because the truth is I don’t have anything. Anything that can make me shine. I wanted to be someone that I am proud of, but this pain convinces me that I can’t be that someone. That’s why I hate myself. I hate myself because I lack the qualities that I should have in order to succeed just like others. It’s funny that my blog post should be something inspiring but it turns out like a sad diary. Well maybe the reason why I called my blog as Homed: Life in sugar and spice is because this is my place, our place to be human. It’s 2017 and my first comeback post is dramatic. Well, let me go for the unusual thing because this doesn’t always happen. It seems to be easy for few or most of us to motivate people to do this and that, which by the way is what I’m doing on my previous posts. But now I realize that it’s easier said than done. Now, I’m trying to put my broken pieces back one by one again, while trying to figure out if this leads to something worth the pain.

Comments

  1. ProfösörFebruary 5, 2017 at 7:45 PM

    Life is just like you're telling

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FionaFebruary 12, 2017 at 8:49 AM

      thank you for agreeing Profosor. Still have to move forward though..

      Delete

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